Dear guys.Words cannot express how much I hate you guys. As we fight our way northward into the great unknown,
only that one thing remain scertain: that I hate you guys with
every tired muscle in my Confederate body.
We have taken Topeka, and now I must lolly the men over to Missouri. Because I will not stop until we have won it all,
and you guys are my slaves. Because, I hate you guys. I hate you guys so very very much.
Yours,
General Зюкин Lee
читать дальшеDear Ms. McCormick
It is with a very heavy heart that I must inform you that your son Kenny was killed in battle [her brows rise in surprise] on the morning of November 18, at Ruby Hills Funland in Chattanooga. This war has taken something from all of us, and, although your son seems to be the only casualty so far, know that we all share your pain. Your son did not die in vain. I shall persevere and make Stan and Kyle my slaves. Because I hate those guys. I hate them so very very much.
Yours,
General Зюкин Lee
Dear Mr. President:
There are times when humans can no longer endure their government's authoritah. You must declare the Confederaceh its own nation so that we may enter into a new millennium of prosperitah. If you do not meet our demands, we will be forced to show the videotapes we have of you with Marisa Tomei.
Clinton: Oh, dear God! Wuh-we have to meet their demands.